Lodestar Quarterly

Issue 6 • Summer 2003 • Featured Writer • Drama

Home Again

Troy Hill

Act II, Scene 3

Scene 3.

Two hours later. They've been drinking and talking. "Bonding."

AUDREY
And I just suddenly realized that I couldn't go on. I couldn't. I mean I love Al. He's great. But there I was in the house and I know it's wrong...

JON
It's okay.

AUDREY
No it's awful. But I just. I couldn't breathe any more. I felt like I would die if I stayed. I know that's a bit dramatic -- I guess I get it from my mother, but really. But there I was in the house and -- the truth is -- I was... I'm love with my next-door neighbor. (She bursts into tears.)

JON
Oh. It's okay, come here. (He holds her.) Did, did you tell him? Does he know this?

AUDREY
Al? No! I couldn't tell him. He'd die!

JON
No, your neighbor.

AUDREY
No. I mean yes. I mean she. Not Dan. Karen. I'm in love with...her. (She bawls again.)

JON
Oh. (Beat) It's okay. Come here.

AUDREY
She knows. She knows. I don't know who else knows.

JON
Shshshsh.

AUDREY
Last night. Dan was out of town on business and Al had men's Bible study, so I went over to Kar's for dinner. Karen.

JON
Uh huh.

AUDREY
And well. She's been a little out of sorts because her oldest daughter Lindy didn't get into Cinci Country Day -- it's the best preschool in Cincinnati -- and I haven't had a drop of alcohol in months since the surgery and before, and we opened a bottle of Mondavi Reserve and the next thing you know she's crying and I'm telling her about home schooling and Montessori and I start crying telling her about what a good friend she's been and how good all the bratwurst and strudel were that she brought over while I was recovering and how she's a perfect wife and mother and the next thing you know I'm laying a sloppy French kiss right on her, oh my God.

JON
And how did she react?

AUDREY
She got real stiff in her chair and wiped her mouth. Suddenly we weren't tipsy at all. And she politely asked me to leave. (She bawls again.)

JON
Oh, honey, come here.

AUDREY
I went to bed early and slept as long as I could. When I got up today, Al had already left for work. I didn't know what to do. What if she told Dan? What if Dan tells Al? I didn't know what to do and still all I could think about was Karen. (She bawls again.)

AUDREY
And then I thought of you guys. And I knew I had to get out. I booked a ticket on expedia.com for only $110 and packed my bag. I called a car. And then I just walked out. Like Nora in "A Doll's House."

JON
That Todd Solondz film?

AUDREY
Who?

JON
Speaking of Todd, do you want to call your brother? You know, you're welcome to stay here tonight if you want -- if you don't feel like traveling to the outer boroughs. I don't know how comfortable you're going to be over there anyway. Janice, well...

AUDREY
She's a little strange! I agree. Oh my gosh did I say that? And I would -- love to stay.

JON
I'll get the number so you can call.

AUDREY
That can wait. Have you had dinner?

JON
No. Let's order something in. I don't feel like going out and you must be beat.

AUDREY
Great.

Jon gets out a folder full of menus.

JON
Audrey, have you ever thought about talking to someone?

AUDREY
What do you mean?

JON
Getting into therapy?

AUDREY
Well, sort of. I know Todd did some. And you're one, right?

JON
That's right. I think you would be an excellent candidate.

AUDREY
Oh, thank you. And I feel like I can really talk to you. It's easy with you. When can we start?

JON
Oh, I couldn't be your therapist, but I can refer you to someone.

AUDREY
Why not?

JON
Well, that would be a pretty major conflict of interest, don't you think?

AUDREY
But you're not Todd's therapist, right?

JON
Right...

AUDREY
And you already know so much about me -- about my family history because of Todd and, and I really like you! I feel like we can really talk.

JON
Well I like you too Audrey, but trust me, we'll get you someone good. And we can still be friends, okay?

AUDREY
Okay, I'm starving!

JON
Did you mention wanting to have children?

Next Page:   Act II, Scene 4   (page 14 of 22 pages)

All Pages:   See the entire play on one page

Table of Contents:   Home Again

Troy Ernest Hill (misterhill@nyc.rr.com) is a playwright and actor in New York City, originally from Atlanta, Georgia. In the eighth grade he won the "Most Outstanding Student Award," and in the eleventh grade the Creative Writing Award. Since that time, it's been more or less a downward spiral. He is currently in the Off-Broadway smash Birdy's Bachelorette Party, and he is a white belt in karate.

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