Lodestar Quarterly

Lodestar Quarterly
Figure reaching for a star Issue 4 • Winter 2002 • Poetry

Krandall Kraus


Following the right star is always
tricky. Those journeys often take us places
we find uncomfortable; and frequently we find ourselves
merely exchanging one ignominy for another.
I should give nearly all to turn this animal
around and head for home, were home a place.
Instead, I wander through the night, hoping not
to be left entirely to my own limited resources.

I have been wrong before. Many times.
But a man need be wise but once
to make a reputation. All those mistakes
on the way up, people forget. Those other
trips that went nowhere -- well, they lead
eventually to a practical wisdom. A man
can't travel that much and not learn something:
a custom, a new dish, the virtue
in staying put. But each time one must believe.
One must say, There is an end
to going on. I have said it before;
I say it now, traipsing across this dusty
land, following another lead. I look at it
this way: if I am right this time
I can retire; after all, what's one more
trip? I tell myself, again, this is it.
This is the journey I was meant to take.

Krandall Kraus is the author of five books. His collection of poetry, The Christmas Poems, was published in 2002. His non-fiction book, It's Never About What It's About: What We Learned About Living While Waiting To Die, co-authored with Paul A. Borja, won a Lambda Literary Award in 2000. He also has published three novels: The President's Son; Bardo; and a mystery, Love's Last Chance. He has been a college professor, served as consultant to The White House during the Ford and Rockefeller administrations, was Acting Head of Publications and Media for The Library of Congress, and raised millions of dollars as grant writer for the San Francisco AIDS Office.

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