Issue 5 • Spring 2003 • Featured Writer • Drama
Avery CrozierWeimarWeimar
Lights up on MILDRED and ARJAY staring into the distance.
MILDRED
Oh, ish. Are they -- ?
ARJAY
I think so.
MILDRED
-- Americans?
ARJAY
They look like American Lutherans.
MILDRED
It's not nice to stereotype.
ARJAY
Look at them: pale, confused --
MILDRED
Fat.
ARJAY
I wasn't going to say that.
MILDRED
But it's true. Americans look fat out of context. Everyone in Europe is so trim.
ARJAY
Too much dairy.
MILDRED
Do we look like that?
ARJAY
We're dressed better. And we're not all huddled on a bus with others of our kind.
MILDRED
Oh, no -- do you think -- ?
ARJAY
(Quickly hands her a guidebook.)
Here, pretend to read.
(Consults a map.)
MINNESOTAN
(Appearing, wearing shorts and looking like a giant six year-old.)
Hello! Sprechen-zie Englisch?
(They try not to notice, but MILDRED can't help a polite smile.)
You must speak English. Your book is English.
MILDRED
Oh, hello.
ARJAY
Sorry, were you talking to us?
MINNESOTAN
Oh, great, you're Americans!
ARJAY
Um...yes.
MINNESOTAN
Where are you from?
ARJAY
Los Angeles.
MILDRED
Oklahoma.
MINNESOTAN
That's my group over there. We're on a pilgrimage, sorta, all the way from Mankato, Minnesota.
ARJAY
Ding, ding, ding!
MINNESOTAN
Excuse me?
MILDRED
Is it a Lutheran pilgrimage?
MINNESOTAN
You bet. We spent two days in Wittenborg, saw the Schlosskirke where Luther posted the 95 Theses, Melancthonhaus, Lutherhaus, of course, and now we're in Weimar -- the heart, the soul of Germany -- to see Goethehaus, Liszthaus, the Bauhaus, Schillerhaus --
ARJAY
Schillerhaus? What's that?
MINNESOTAN
Schiller was a playwright, nineteenth century, I think.
(Shows guidebook, the same as ARJAY'S.)
Been reading, but it all runs together in my head. Uffda!
ARJAY
I didn't know that. About Schiller.
MINNESOTAN
Say, have you been keeping up with the news?
MILDRED
I managed to find CNN two days ago for about half an hour.
MINNESOTAN
So you don't know the latest?
ARJAY
What?
MINNESOTAN
I'm trying to find out. I'm guessing the international situation's worse, cause the Germans seem a little less friendly every day. Have you noticed that?
MILDRED
Maybe a little.
MINNESOTAN
I feel so isolated traveling like this. I'm not used to it. Every morning at home I sit down to the newspaper and a cup of Tang tea. I don't know what's going on and it kinda bugs me.
MILDRED
Last I heard it was worse, yes. Allies pulling out, harsh denunciations --
MINNESOTAN
We're s'posed to fly out of Frankfurt in two days. Hope we can get home.
ARJAY
Not really a good time to be traveling.
MINNESOTAN AND MILDRED
But it's cheap!
MINNESOTAN laughs. MILDRED is embarrassed.
MINNESOTAN
You don't think anything really serious is going to happen, do you?
MILDRED
I'm sure not. It's all threats and posturing.
ARJAY
Saber-rattling. Mine's bigger than yours.
MINNESOTAN
Sure.
MILDRED
(After a moment.)
Well, have a wonderful trip back.
MINNESOTAN
Thanks. It's nice to see Americans -- other than our group, I mean.
ARJAY
Especially if the Germans are being mean.
MINNESOTAN
You bet. We gotta stick together!
(Pause.)
Well...auf weidersehen.
|
MILDRED
Good-bye.
|
|
ARJAY
Take care.
|
MINNESOTAN leaves, reluctantly.
ARJAY
(After a moment.)
Why didn't you -- ?
MILDRED
I just didn't feel like it.
ARJAY
Schiller never told me -- you never told me --
MILDRED
Told you what?
ARJAY
Is Schiller named for the playwright?
MILDRED
It was Roger's idea. At first he wanted Goethe, but imagine that on the playground.
ARJAY
What were you gonna say?
MILDRED
It's amazing how just a few weeks away makes me not want to be an American. Oh, I don't mean that exactly, but I don't want to be associated with America right here, right now. Normally I would have said I was from Minnesota. I went to Mankato State!
ARJAY
I've seen you make that geography connection with strangers more than once.
MILDRED
I do that, don't I? My mother did, too. Funny how right now I want to feel disconnected. Oh, that sounds awful.
ARJAY
No, it's okay. You feel free. Or at least freer.
MILDRED
Maybe that's it.
ARJAY
(After a moment.)
It wasn't me that persuaded you to come on this trip, was it?
(MILDRED just smiles.)
Was it finding out you were sick?
MILDRED
Schiller's always telling us our time is limited.
ARJAY
Schiller is almost always right.
MILDRED
They say when you travel you learn more about yourself than any place you visit.
ARJAY
For most people it's the last thing we want to know.
(Pause.)
So -- who are you?
MILDRED
I'm not finished yet.
(After a moment.)
Arjay, Roger and I are very happy you're marrying Schiller.
ARJAY
I know.
MILDRED
Of course, you do --
ARJAY
But that you can say so is even better.
MILDRED
(After a moment.)
Cause you should've seen what else Schiller's drug home!
(Bursts out laughing.)
ARJAY
(Laughing.)
You ruint it! You ruint it!
MILDRED
One spring break -- oh, I'm glad Schiller's not here -- one spring Schiller showed up on our doorstep with this perfectly nice -- person -- and we were all nervous and trying to be polite when suddenly while I was going on about -- geography, I guess -- doing my geographic connection thing -- now that I know I have a thing -- in the middle of me trying desperately to make this connection -- Jamie -- I think that was the name, Jamie -- perfectly nice -- suddenly pooted out, well, no, actually blasted out a nervous fart like you wouldn't believe. And I here I was, Mrs. Gracious, Calm and Motherly, and I couldn't possibly even acknowledge this unfortunate explosion so I knew I had to keep talking but I had no idea what I'd been saying and just said the first words that came into my head -- cat, dog, sigmoidoscopy, I don't remember what they were, but I know it didn't make any sense whatsoever! I just had to keep going or Schiller would be embarrassed and Roger and I would be embarrassed and Jamie the Poot Monster would shrivel and die and the whole mortified world would blow itself up!
ARJAY
Mildred, that was me. I pooted when I met you.
MILDRED gasps. Then she and ARJAY both burst out laughing, practically shrieking. SCHILLER and ROGER arrive at a trot.
SCHILLER
Mom, what's wrong?!
ROGER
Mildred, are you all right?
MILDRED
(Laughing.)
Nothing, yes, fine!
SCHILLER
Arjay, what's going on?
ARJAY
Nothing, just -- remembrance of things passed.
ARJAY and MILDRED shriek again.
ROGER
When you've finished --
(They try to stop but can't entirely.)
When you're over your seizures, I have some good news.
SCHILLER
We have a rendezvous in a graveyard.
ARJAY AND MILDRED
What?
SCHILLER
Finally some genealogy for Mom.
ROGER
My mother's cousin's daughter is sending one of her children to meet us at --
(Looks at a scrap of paper.)
-- The Elephant, which I guess is a hotel -- and then we'll all go to this cemetery to see the grave of Cousin Franz.
MILDRED
And who --
(Wiping away a tear.)
-- Sorry -- what is your mother's cousin's daughter's child's name?
ROGER
(Checks paper again.)
Schlitzen.
ARJAY AND MILDRED
What?
ROGER
Schlitzen!
Lights come up isolating SCHLITZEN, a tough customer, possibly a skinhead.
MILDRED
Your mother's cousin's daughter's child is a reindeer?
SCHLITZEN
I am Schlitzen.
Lighting changes so they are all in the same area. It is a bar of an old hotel.
SCHLITZEN
Wilkommen to the Elephant.
ROGER
Schlitzen, I'm Roger. This is my wife, Mildred --
|
MILDRED
Very nice to meet you.
|
|
ARJAY
I'm Arjay.
|
SCHILLER
And I'm Schiller.
SCHLITZEN
Funny name.
ARJAY
After the playwright!
(SCHILLER looks at ARJAY in surprise.)
SCHLITZEN
So you want to know my grandfather?
ROGER
Your whole family, really.
SCHLITZEN
Grossvater Franz came to this hotel for drinking. It is most famous.
MILDRED
Famous for what?
SCHLITZEN
Was Hitler's favorite.
|
SCHILLER
Really!
|
|
ROGER
I'm not surprised.
|
|
ARJAY
Jesus!
|
SCHLITZEN
You know Grossvater was Nazi.
|
SCHILLER
Everybody was.
|
|
ARJAY
No kidding!
|
ROGER
I'm not surprised.
SCHLITZEN
You are not shocked to have the Nazi relation?
ROGER
Was he a true believer?
(SCHLITZEN looks confused.)
Or did he just go along for the ride?
SCHILLER
Dad, that's pretty colloquial.
SCHLITZEN
He joined for job, I think. In office, no killing. He did nothing. Too old to fight, so he made it safe through war.
ROGER
Did he have any hobbies?
|
SCHLITZEN
What are hobbies?
|
|
SCHILLER
Colloquial.
|
ROGER
What did he do for fun?
SCHLITZEN
For fun? He did nothing. No, I am wrong. He enjoyed the theatre but hated the film. Before the war he went to Berlin to see Brecht. He enjoyed to watch.
ROGER
How funny! I teach theatre. I used to.
MILDRED
What do you do?
SCHLITZEN
For job?
MILDRED
Yes. Or are you in school?
SCHLITZEN
Dropped out. I live with Mutter.
ROGER
Have you been to Buchenwald?
SCHLITZEN
Ja. Not for long time, but does not change.
ROGER
Is it...well...I'm concerned I might not be able to take it. I passed out in that Corpenwelten exhibition in Berlin.
SCHLITZEN
(Shrugs.)
You have seen the pictures.
ROGER
I don't think I want to go.
|
SCHILLER
Dad!
|
|
MILDRED
Roger, you said yourself it's important.
|
SCHILLER
You can't come all the way to Germany and not go to a concentration camp. It's like visiting L.A. and not going to Disneyland.
SCHLITZEN
That is very funny.
(Gets up.)
I give directions now.
MILDRED
You're not going with us?
ROGER
There's so much we want to ask you! The family, politics -- !
SCHLITZEN
Politics?
SCHILLER
The international -- you know -- situation -- kinda scary for us, traveling and all --
ROGER
The German position vis-à-vis our American perspective --
SCHLITZEN
There is no German position. There is the government, and there are real people. Government say "peace in our time," but we hear that before, don't we? German government so pure and holy because they have no choice. They cannot talk war. When everyone forget Hitler, maybe then. But the world forget the moon and sun before they forget Hitler.
ROGER
No, I don't think anyone will forget.
SCHLITZEN
I did not know Hitler. Yet I am one without the job. My hands --
(Shows them.)
-- Clean -- no blood. The Jews are safe from me.
MILDRED
Are you feeling safer now?
SCHLITZEN
Safe? Now?
MILDRED
With the Soviets gone, I mean.
SCHLITZEN
Safe from what? There is one superpower now -- no restraint, no opposing ideology. You do what you want --
|
ROGER
Not us!
|
|
MILDRED
We're not our government either.
|
SCHLITZEN
(Overlapping.)
-- And no one to stop you! We miss Soviet Union more all the time. I am sorry. I go now.
ROGER
Wait! Can you tell us any more about Franz, about anything...? Were you born before he --
SCHLITZEN
I knew him. Is nothing to tell. No, I am wrong once more. He died in theatre.
MILDRED
An accident?
Lights out on everyone but SCHLITZEN.
SCHLITZEN
No. Sitting in seat. Watching.
Lights out on SCHLITZEN and up on SCHILLER, ARJAY, MILDRED and ROGER sitting on a bus.
***
Next Page:
Buchenwald (page 9 of 9 pages)
All Pages: See the entire play on one page
Table of Contents: Walking to Buchenwald
Go To:
Issue 5 or Lodestar Quarterly home page
|
