Lodestar Quarterly

Issue 7 • Fall 2003 • Drama

The Hot Month

Taylor Mac Bowyer

Scene I

Scene I

Lights up on GRIFFIN, MAG in GRIFFIN's bedroom. GRIFFIN is rolling clothes into his bag. Besides GRIFFIN's bag and MAG's chair the stage is bare. MAG speaks to GRIFFIN.

MAG
I'm not healthy. Too much sex. I mean not too much, just not... I was on top of this man the other night, banging away, and I thought, you know I could just hang out here for awhile. Here he is trying to get off, trying to get me off, with all this built up passion and adrenaline, grabbing my tits, grunting away, right, "fuck yeah, oh baby fuck yeah." I wanted to say, could we just hang out here for awhile? You inside of me. Still. Just for a little while. Just for a few days maybe. Maybe a couple of years.

GRIFFIN
Why didn't you?

MAG
It's like trying to get a dog to stop playing catch. They'll just bug you until you relent. It wasn't him. How about you?

GRIFFIN
How about me what?

MAG
You sure you don't wanna hang out for awhile longer?

GRIFFIN
I'm going to Mexico.

LEN rolls on with the bed. He is still in his coma and GRIFFIN and MAG are aware of this even though they hear and see him. When LEN is finished speaking and exits the others act as if it didn't happen.

LEN
Mexico: A republic in southern North America, population 64,567,203. Wow.

LEN rolls offstage. GRIFFIN and MAG watch to make sure he isn't coming back and then continue with their scene.

GRIFFIN
Are you any good at this?

MAG
You have to roll them tighter.

GRIFFIN
Do it.

MAG
You're such a baby. These are all Lenny's.

GRIFFIN
Were you planning on wearing them?

RED HAWK, speaking as she enters, rolls an old beat up truck on stage, Flintstones style -- or she comes on stage, sits in a bench and makes it her truck. She is a woman dressed in male Native American garb. Throughout this, RED HAWK should be in constant activity, never a person to do just one thing at a time. GRIFFIN plays the past scene with MAG and present scene with RED simultaneously. MAG and RED compete for his attention.

RED
Get in! Hurry up, let's go, let's go.

GRIFFIN
Hey, hold on I'm not in yet.

RED
Sorry, I don't have a lot of time, I'm a bit of a fugitive here.

GRIFFIN
What?

RED
Quiet. You hear any sirens?

GRIFFIN
Great.

RED
Shhhh... We're clear. For now anyway. I just ripped off a bunch of gas. Nothing big. You like dogs, I have two dogs in the hatch, I hope you like dogs. They're my babies. (She calls to them in the back) Hello girls. Mama loves you. Do you have any money?

GRIFFIN
No, about 89 cents.

RED
Liar. Neither do I. We'll go 'til we can't go. I'm going to the Hopi reservation. Where you say you were going?

GRIFFIN
I didn't... Mexico.

RED
Oh well I'm not going that far, I'm going to the Hopi reservation, you want to go to the Hopi reservation, you can come. You ever been there?

GRIFFIN
No.

RED
I'm going there. I'm trying to get a job, get paid under the table. I get benefits from the government, not nearly enough. I need to get a job where I get paid under the table. I figure I have skills they could use. What's your name?

GRIFFIN
Griffin.

RED
Griffin, like a gargoyle or something? That's good, that's a spiritual name: means something most people don't know. It's got spirituality. Names are important. (She gets out her tobacco, American Spirit, and begins to roll a cigarette) You want some?

GRIFFIN
No thanks.

RED
You got a good name. Too many Johns in the world. Makes you feel real good about the world to think so many people wanna name their kids after a toilet bowl. Names are like some virus passing around from generation to generation, it's like athlete's foot, people have...

GRIFFIN
Athlete's Foot's not a virus.

RED
It's not?

GRIFFIN
No.

RED
Well don't ruin it, you know what I mean, people have these dumb ass names all their life and then they give them to their children. They got these books you can buy that have all the names in them, so when you have a baby you can look up the perfect name in a book. Griffin what?

GRIFFIN
Cooper.

RED
(sings) "Every party has a pooper that's why we invited Cooper, party pooper, Griffin Cooper." Ha. My name's Red Hawk. I'm thinking of changing it to Red Eagle 'cause the eagle's the Hopi bird. I'm not Native American now, in two past lives I was Hopi, so I think I'll change it to Red Eagle.

GRIFFIN
You were Hopi twice in your past lives?

RED
Yep. Drowned in a flood both times too, which is a strange coincidence 'cause it don't flood out here all that much, but those were different times. What's in Mexico?

GRIFFIN
A church.

LEN rolls back on. GRIFFIN and MAG respond as before but RED can't see him and acts as if she's heard the story from GRIFFIN.

LEN
Well not really a church, but the remains of one. A long time ago a volcano erupted and the molten lava encompassed this old Catholic church forcing all the missionaries to run, leaving behind their artifacts encrusted in lava. Mother Nature got fed up with the missionaries and swallowed them whole. Old crucifixes and Mother Marys encased in ash for all eternity. There are still remains. They may be dead and inactive remains, but they're still there. Breathing... almost.

LEN rolls off.

MAG
Lenny wanted... wants Mexico. Tourists and their cheap attractions. We hate Mexico. Ponchos that smell like potato sacks.

GRIFFIN
More than that.

MAG
Lenny's never even been to Mexico. It's just an idea he had...has...wanted...wants. Something to pass the time with. Getting to run around, anthropologizing ash. (MAG makes up the word anthropologizing.) You've been at least. You know. Florescent pink sombreros.

MAG finds a bottle of Aqua Lube in GRIFFIN's bag while she's been packing.

MAG
Aqua Lube?

GRIFFIN
I don't want to feel guilty about this.

MAG
So you're going to hang out with a bunch of encrusted Catholics. And leave me with the beeping. (She starts to get up) Oh.

GRIFFIN
You okay?

MAG
Yeah, my foot's asleep.

GRIFFIN
Ick.

MAG
No, I like it. Tingles.

RED
Hey, I'm writing a book and you have to be in it. Okay? Okay?

GRIFFIN
Okay.

RED
The thing is, I don't have time to write it really, on account that I have to get enough money to go find my dogs that are missing. You have to write the book for me. I mean not the whole thing, just bits and pieces, like a chapter. You just write your story, or if you don't like yours, you can write one you like.

MAG
Once upon a time there was a beautiful fat princess.

RED
Every person I meet I'm getting to write me their story and then I'm going to compile them all together to make a big coffee table book. (She pulls out a camera and takes a snapshot) Ha. Got your soul. It's for the book. So you have to write me your story.

GRIFFIN
I'll try.

RED
You have to do it. It's not that big a deal -- just write a couple pages, no trying involved at all.

MAG
All the people of the kingdom loved her. They loved her pillow breasts. They loved her gargantuan thighs, her rolling stomach, her bouncing butt, and her thick, thick arms.

GRIFFIN
I thought your dogs were in the hatch?

RED
Oh, shit, they jump out again?

GRIFFIN
No. You said they were missing, I thought they were in the back.

RED
Oh, the ones in the back are my new pups. The government has my old babies. They stole them from me. You trust this government? I sure as hell don't, and it ain't just 'cause of Nixon. (She starts rummaging through her bag) I never trusted this country way back before some stupid white man with a big nose fucked up. You just have to open your eyes and look around to see that things are fucked up. If you couldn't tell things were fucked up before the seventies, you must be blind and deaf. Shit even deaf-blind people can tell things are fucked up, they just have to stick their noses up and smell the stink. Mama Earth is rotting away. (She finds a bag of pistachios) Ha! (She tries to get the bag open) If you're not enraged you're not paying attention 'cause there's a hell of lot to be enraged about. (The bag bursts open all over Griffin's lap.) Oh shit. Sorry. (She begins to pick them up off his crotch.)

GRIFFIN
You need some help?

RED
I got it. Would you mind steering? Just tell me if I'm going too fast. (GRIFFIN does this while she picks up the nuts on his lap, under his butt, on the ground at his feet.) The government steals my babies. They lock me up in some poofy room and make me take my clothes off. Spray me, electrocute me, the whole time I'm saying you got to let me go, my pups are in my car and they're gonna need food and water pretty soon. They're probably peeing all over the place. You think they give a shit about my pups, they tell me I should relax and I'll be able to go back to my babies any day. Shit they'll be dead any day. I finally get out of their stink hole, go back to my truck, it's still there, thank God, but my babies are gone.

JOSEPH enters and walks past everyone, talking to his dogs, which we don't see.

JOSEPH
Oh the baby girls. The baby girls got left in the dirty old truck. Oh yes you did. You wanna come home with me? Oh yes you do. Oh yes. Oh you're just the best girls ever. Hub hub hub.

JOSEPH exits. MAG and GRIFFIN were the only two that heard or saw him. They exchange confused glances at each other.

RED
So I got to find them soon. They need their mama. There, I think I got them all. We hit anything?

GRIFFIN
No.

RED
Good.

MAG
Did you know there's a certain type of Prozac, if you happen to be one of the 5% of people who have a strange chemical reaction to it, every time you yawn you orgasm. It's true, like a lot of things are true. So what I wonder is how did doctors figure out it was the Prozac making people orgasm every time they yawned? What if you had an orgasm every time you yawned? Would you tell your doctor? Would you tell anyone? Would you make yourself yawn? Would the yawning solve the depression? Would you trade your sanity for a convenient orgasm?

GRIFFIN
What are you talking about?

MAG
How do people fall in love? I have to figure it out soon or I'm going to trade my sanity in for convenient orgasms, if it's not already too late. I mean so much for being liberated, right. Fuck. There, you're packed. Go away.

GRIFFIN
Thanks.

MAG
Yeah, I know.

RED
You a homo, Griffin?

GRIFFIN
Yeah.

RED
Me, too. I'm a lesbian. (The word lesbian makes RED laugh.) Ha. You're a nice kid, Griffin. I can tell that already. I'm good at telling what people are like from a first glance. Shit, I saw you on the road, couldn't make out your face but I know you're right-minded just from the energy. The great spirit tells me who to trust and who not to. You got good ears, Griffin. They're pointy like a gargoyle. Griffin, the pointy eared gargoyle. (She reaches over and caresses his ear. Pause. She takes her hand back to steering.) You notice, Griffin, how I always say your name when I talk to you? It's 'cause a name has power; I call you Griffin, you feel at home with me. We make a connection. I get used to saying your name over and over, you become part of my regular speaking vocabulary. You got good ears. What's your favorite color?

GRIFFIN
Green, I guess.

RED
You guess what? Either it is or it isn't.

MAG (yes, MAG)
Green.

RED
Good answer.

GRIFFIN
Why?

RED
It's how people get defined. Not by what you do but what titillates. Does green titillate?

GRIFFIN
I don't know.

MAG
I need to tell you something. Something important, I think.

GRIFFIN
What?

MAG
I can't remember. It's just floating there, I can't remember. Something's coming.

GRIFFIN
"It may be soon? Catch the moon, one handed catch?"

MAG
I'm serious.

GRIFFIN
When you think of it, send a postcard.

MAG
How will I know where to find you?

GRIFFIN
You'll figure it out.

MAG
What if he wakes up?

RED
So when we go to sleep tonight, you gonna take off your clothes?

MAG
What if he doesn't?

RED
Since you're family, I don't mind if you take them off; if you're not, I make you leave them on.

MAG
What do people do in Mexico anyway? It's just a big desert, right? What do people do in deserts? Pump gas. That's all there is to do. You'll become a gas pumper. A petro poof.

GRIFFIN
I don't know.

RED
You don't know a lot of things. What is that, "I don't know"? Of course you know. You either are or your not. It's not hard to figure out.

MAG
Going off into the wild, wild west never to be found again. You'll turn into tumbleweed or a prairie dog. You'll blend in with the earth. Never to be seen again.

GRIFFIN
Prairie dogs live on the prairie.

MAG
Whatever. I want the teeth.

GRIFFIN
No way.

MAG
If you're just gonna disappear, I want them.

GRIFFIN
I'm sorry.

RED
We'll figure it out later. Do you want something to eat, or do you not know that too?

GRIFFIN
I don't have any money.

RED
My treat.

GRIFFIN
You don't have to do that.

RED
You have to eat, I don't mind, you keep me company, I get you where you need to go and feed ya, sound good?

MAG
Don't go.

GRIFFIN
Sounds good.

MAG
You little shit.

RED
You want to take a shower with me tonight?

GRIFFIN
I don't think so.

RED
Chicken. I'll keep my teeth in.

Lights out on RED and GRIFFIN. MAG is left alone with the beeping. She sits listening for awhile and then begins to sing in rhythm to the beeps.

MAG
(sings) "Could be. Who knows. It's coming due any day..."

Blackout

Next Page:   Scene II   (page 4 of 12 pages)

All Pages:   See the entire play on one page

Table of Contents:   The Hot Month

Taylor Mac Bowyer's plays include The Hot Month (recipient of the Ensemble Studio Theater's "Next-Step Fellowship"), Red Tide Blooming, Dilating (an evening of one-acts), The Levee (published by Vintage), Blue Grotto, and the solo-play Okay. He is a member of the Circle Repertory Lab and has acted with The Jean Cocteau Repertory, Mabou Mines, Dixon Place, and at several regional theaters. As drag performer, Taylor Mac, he has performed in venues such as Joe's Pub, FEZ, and the San Francisco Opera House.

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