Lodestar Quarterly

Issue 7 • Fall 2003 • Drama

The Hot Month

Taylor Mac Bowyer

Scene IV

Scene IV

Lights up on RED and GRIFFIN in the bench/truck stage left. GRIFFIN is asleep. RED talks to him anyway.

RED
I had this parole officer one time who tried to get me to donate my blood. Not a chance I told her. It may be selfish of me, but as you get older, closer to cold space, you need all the warmth you can muster up. It's the only thing that keeps you sexy. Warm blood inside. When the blood goes cold, when the blood goes bad, nobody wants to touch you. (Waking Griffin up.) Something about the road that makes me want to break the law. Come on, get out.

GRIFFIN
What are you doing, Red? We're not stealing more gas.

RED
You have any money?

GRIFFIN
I told you, no.

RED
Well, sweet pea, we need to keep going, so...

GRIFFIN
I just don't know if that's the best thing we could do right now. (RED pulls out her shot gun.) Oh, no.

RED
Oh, yes. Keep the engine running.

GRIFFIN
No. Oh, no. Come on, Red, put the gun away.

RED
Here we go.

GRIFFIN
No, here we don't go. Put the gun down.

RED
I will if you hand over your stash.

GRIFFIN
What?

RED
The money.

GRIFFIN
Here, now put the gun away. Here.

RED
And a kiss.

GRIFFIN
Sorry?

RED
A smooch, I want a smooch.

GRIFFIN
Someone's gonna see you.

RED puckers up. GRIFFIN kisses her.

RED
Thanks. I like that. (RED gives him back his money.) Keep the engine running.

RED exits with the shot gun.

GRIFFIN
Yeah.

Lights up on JOSEPH and MAG, stage right. They are in a different location from RED and GRIFFIN. The remainder of the scene is a split scene between the two couples. MAG is on the floor in the middle of a contraction with JOSEPH leaning over her.

MAG
Ahhhhhh.

JOSEPH
Just breathe. Okay. Just breathe.

RED's rifle goes off and MAG has a contraction.

MAG and GRIFFIN
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

JOSEPH
It's okay.

GRIFFIN
It's okay.

MAG
I'm giving birth on the floor of a truck stop bathroom. It's not okay.

JOSEPH
You're the one who broke the door down to get in here.

RED
(From offstage) Fill her up baby.

MAG
I don't want my baby to be born in a truck stop bathroom.

JOSEPH
It's not so bad.

MAG
It smells like shit in here.

JOSEPH
Well I'm sorry.

RED
(From offstage) Sweet pea, fill her up.

MAG
Could you just get some help?

GRIFFIN
Right. Help.

GRIFFIN gets out and gets the gas pump which is a hose, connected offstage.

JOSEPH
I can't leave you.

MAG
I don't think my baby's supposed to be born for another month.

JOSEPH
Sometimes babies are born premature, didn't your doctor tell you that?

MAG
I know that, fuck face.

JOSEPH
That's a little uncalled-for.

MAG
Could you just get help. Oh, Jesus Christ.

GRIFFIN
Filling up, filling up.

JOSEPH
I was born exactly one month premature and I'm fine. I've always been healthy. I was supposed to be a Libra but my mother's doctor induced the labor, so they forced me out a month early. Now I'm a Virgo but I always read the Libra horoscope, I read the Virgo horoscope for awhile but it didn't seem to work, I'm not very organized, Virgo's are supposed to be orga...

MAG
Shut up.

JOSEPH
Just breathe. You're gonna be fine.

MAG
Please get help.

GRIFFIN
Tick tock tick tock.

JOSEPH
There's not time. You're gonna give birth real soon. Your contraptions are real close together.

MAG
My contractions, not contraptions.

JOSEPH
I'm sorry, sometimes I mess up words like that. I meant contractions. You're gonna be fine, your baby's gonna be fine, I have a little boy. I helped. You're gonna be fine.

MAG
You don't even know the difference between a contraption and a contraction, there's no way I'm letting you touch my... did you wash your hands.

RED
(From offstage) Get in, baby.

GRIFFIN
Getting in, getting in.

MAG
You were taking a shit. Did you wash your hands? I don't remember you washing your hands.

JOSEPH
No... there wasn't time. I'll wash them.

JOSEPH exits stage right.

RED
(From offstage) The driver's side.

MAG
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

JOSEPH
(offstage) Just breathe... (JOSEPH burns his hand with the hot water.) Och. Oh. Gosh darn.

MAG
What?

JOSEPH
Nothing, just breathe.

GRIFFIN
Breathe.

RED comes running on with her arms full of Pringles potato chips.

RED
WAHOOOOOOOO!

MAG and GRIFFIN
Oh, fuck fuck fuck.

JOSEPH
(entering) Your gonna be fine... lube.

MAG
What?

RED
Let's go.

GRIFFIN
You didn't...

JOSEPH
I'll be right back.

RED
Kill anyone? Not even close.

JOSEPH
I have...

GRIFFIN
Good.

RED
You left the hose in.

GRIFFIN
Shit.

GRIFFIN starts to get out and steps on some of the Pringles.

JOSEPH
We need to lubricate your...

RED
Well don't crush the chips.

GRIFFIN and MAG
Shit.

JOSEPH
I have some lubrication in the truck.

JOSEPH exits.

RED and GRIFFIN pick up their truck and run offstage.

JOSEPH comes back with a bottle of lubricant.

JOSEPH
All right, I got it, so now all we have to do is...

JOSEPH is too shy to put it on.

MAG
What?

JOSEPH
Mmmmm.

MAG
Oh, Jesus Christ just give it to me.

JOSEPH
You have to apply it to the... to the...

MAG
I know where to put it. Aqua Lube?

JOSEPH
Just put it on.

She turns away from him while she does it.

MAG
Oh, God.

JOSEPH
I know what to do. I've done this before.

MAG
It's fine. It's all right, you can help.

JOSEPH
Okay. You're gonna be fine.

MAG
Of course I'm gonna be fine. This ain't nothing... nothing but creating life. I can claim this. I can claim this. I'm a fucking fat butch bitch. I take up space. I kick ass, I fucking kick ass.

JOSEPH
That's it.

MAG
I'm a mother fucker.

JOSEPH
You kick ass.

MAG
I kick ass. I'm a big bitch big big bitch. I will conquer this. I'm gonna throw up. I want my mother.

JOSEPH
You're doing great.

MAG
I've never wanted my mother, all of a sudden I want my mother. Promise you won't tell her.

JOSEPH
I won't.

MAG
Why won't it stretch more? Oh my...

JOSEPH
You kick ass. Kick ass. Come on kick some ass.

MAG
I'M KICKING IT, YOU STUPID FUCK.

JOSEPH
WELL, GOOD.

MAG
KICK ASS

JOSEPH
KICK ASS

JOSEPH AND MAG
KICK ASS

Blackout

Next Page:   Scene V   (page 7 of 12 pages)

All Pages:   See the entire play on one page

Table of Contents:   The Hot Month

Taylor Mac Bowyer's plays include The Hot Month (recipient of the Ensemble Studio Theater's "Next-Step Fellowship"), Red Tide Blooming, Dilating (an evening of one-acts), The Levee (published by Vintage), Blue Grotto, and the solo-play Okay. He is a member of the Circle Repertory Lab and has acted with The Jean Cocteau Repertory, Mabou Mines, Dixon Place, and at several regional theaters. As drag performer, Taylor Mac, he has performed in venues such as Joe's Pub, FEZ, and the San Francisco Opera House.

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