Issue 8 • Winter 2003 • Featured Lodestar Writer • Drama
Doric WilsonThe Prisoner
BILL leads the PRISONER down the aisle. The PRISONER's hands are bound behind him with rawhide, his shirt is torn. He is an attractive, personable, contemporary gay male, dressed for Saturday night on West Street.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Hello... come up here... pay no mind to the functionaries...
The PRISONER and BILL are on the stage.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) ...watch your step... here... come... sit down. (To BILL) Thank you, William, that will be all. (To the PRISONER) Hello.
PRISONER
Where am I?
SALOME
Sit down.
PRISONER
I'll stand.
SALOME
You'll sit.
PRISONER
What's going on here?
SALOME
You must be shaky.
PRISONER
Why are my hands tied?
SALOME
You look shaky.
PRISONER
What the fuck's going on here?
BILL
Watch your language!
SALOME
Your hands are trembling. Is the rawhide too tight?
PRISONER
Is this some kind of a game?
SALOME
Game?
PRISONER
A fantasy trip with me as the sex object?
SALOME
You want to play games? (To LANE) Set up the hoops. (To the PRISONER) I challenge you to croquet.
PRISONER
Unreal.
SALOME
Would you prefer badminton?
PRISONER
Is this a garden?
SALOME
Are you a horticulturist?
PRISONER
This must be a dream.
SALOME
Are you asleep?
PRISONER
Or a bad trip. Sure, that's it! You're one 'lude too many.
SALOME
Are you an addict?
PRISONER
Not after this.
SALOME
Already I've influenced your rehabilitation.
PRISONER
This is a stage, isn't it?
SALOME
Are you an actor?
PRISONER
I seem to be under arrest.
SALOME
What did you do?
PRISONER
I'm innocent.
SALOME
Of what?
PRISONER
How should I know?
SALOME
You don't know why you're here?
PRISONER
I don't know where I am.
SALOME
Will that be your defense?
PRISONER
Then this is a jail?
SALOME
Did you do it?
PRISONER
No, I did not.
SALOME
What didn't you do?
PRISONER
I was innocently walking along West Street --
SALOME
I thought you people called it cruising.
PRISONER
Right... it's funny... I'm laughing... (To LANE) ...Is there a telephone here?
SALOME
I said sit down. No? Stand, do precisely as you please. Should you wish to sit down, these are chairs. Lane, function, give our guest some champagne.
PRISONER
No thanks.
BILL
(To SALOME) Want me to put him away now?
SALOME
Fine, don't have champagne. (To LANE) I'll have some, he can share from my glass.
LANE takes glass, refills it.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) My name's Salome.
PRISONER
(To LANE) I asked to use a telephone.
SALOME
And you?
PRISONER
Me what?
SALOME
Your name.
PRISONER
(To BILL) Where's the phone?
BILL
Come near me, I'll bust you in the face!
SALOME
Are you a phone freak?
PRISONER
I'm allowed one phone call.
SALOME
Why won't you tell me your name?
PRISONER
(To BILL) Untie me.
BILL
No.
PRISONER
Why not?
BILL
You're a prisoner.
PRISONER
Am I? It seems I am. I'm not sure I know what kind of jail this is.
SALOME
You've had experience with incarceration?
PRISONER
Only on pig night at the Lure.
SALOME
If I loosen your bondage, will you tell me your name?
PRISONER
Try it and find out.
SALOME
(Untying him) Our only interest is making you comfortable.
PRISONER
(To LANE) What are you supposed to be? The butler?
LANE
On occasion.
PRISONER
I've seen you somewhere before.
LANE
(Uncomfortable) It's hardly likely.
PRISONER
Sure... some piss elegant bar on the Upper East Side --
LANE
You're mistaken.
PRISONER
(To LANE) Ah... yes... I understand.
LANE
I would prefer you didn't.
PRISONER
(To BILL) What are you supposed to be?
BILL
I warned you once.
PRISONER
I'm only being friendly.
BILL
I know what you are.
PRISONER
You're not enjoying this as much as she is.
BILL
You ready to go back now?
PRISONER
(To BILL) Want to tell me what this is all about?
SALOME
Are you ignoring me?
PRISONER
I'm talking to him.
SALOME
You're talking to me.
PRISONER
(To BILL) They won't let you talk?
SALOME
He can talk. Talk William.
PRISONER
William? Bill? Which do you prefer?
LANE
He seems to have nothing to say.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) And your name?
PRISONER
Any name will do.
SALOME
Are you ashamed of your name?
PRISONER
(To LANE) You seem to be the power behind the throne here --
LANE
Don't include me in this.
PRISONER
It may be too late.
LANE
For you.
PRISONER
We're in this together.
LANE
How naïve.
PRISONER
Each man for himself?
BILL
(With contempt) Ha!
PRISONER
(To BILL) What name would you like me to have?
SALOME
Name yourself!
PRISONER
I am Lokanaan. (Optional substitute: John the Baptist)
SALOME
Don't be irreligious.
PRISONER
Alexander the Great?
SALOME
Don't be pretentious.
PRISONER
Achilles.
SALOME
Such self-delusions.
PRISONER
Antinous?
SALOME
You aren't cute enough.
PRISONER
Richard the --
SALOME
Wasn't lion-hearted in the least. He was a sniveling little --
PRISONER
Socrates.
SALOME
Are you going to trot them all out? Michelangelo? Marlowe? Bacon? Shakespeare?
LANE
How about Horatio Alger?
PRISONER
How about George Washington?
BILL
Watch it!
PRISONER
Sorry, Bill.
SALOME
You're not shocking me.
PRISONER
(To LANE) I'll have that drink now.
SALOME
Lane, champagne.
PRISONER
I'd rather have a beer.
LANE
Budweiser?
PRISONER
Sure.
SALOME
We still haven't settled on your name.
PRISONER
Alfred Taylor.
SALOME
Is that your real name?
PRISONER
No, but it'll do.
LANE brings the wine bucket and stand to the table, removes a can of Bud, serves it to the PRISONER without a glass.
SALOME
I don't like it.
PRISONER
Sorry.
SALOME
I shall call you Bruce.
PRISONER
(To LANE) I want out of here.
SALOME
So you can hurry back to the old G.D.F.?
PRISONER
Fifth amendment.
SALOME
You know Mamma. You met her on the street today.
PRISONER
I stay off the streets.
SALOME
I thought you were innocently walking along West Street --
PRISONER
Nope.
SALOME
Because you were cruising and you aren't innocent. Oh, you didn't do anything to Mamma, nobody ever does anymore. Maybe you gave her a leaflet. But you are in no way innocent.
PRISONER
Certain of that?
SALOME
I know one when I see one.
PRISONER
One what?
SALOME
What you are.
PRISONER
What am I?
SALOME
I don't blame you for being ashamed of it.
PRISONER
I'm not.
SALOME
Humiliated?
PRISONER
No.
SALOME
You disgust decent people.
PRISONER
No more than they disgust me.
SALOME
Who do you think you are?! (To LANE) Lane, tell Bruce the story about the pederast and --
PRISONER
(Wearily) -- the Boy Scout?
LANE
(To SALOME) I don't think he's interested.
SALOME
Tell him!
LANE
To earn his merit badge for fishing, the Boy Scout went hiking backwards through the bus station with his fly unbuttoned --
PRISONER
(with pained patience) -- trolling for queers.
LANE
(To SALOME) He may have already heard it.
SALOME
(Enjoying the PRISONER's discomfort) Then tell him the one about the fluff who fell in love with the handsome doctor --
PRISONER
(His patience strained) -- who specialized in disorders of the alimentary canal.
LANE
(To SALOME) I'd really rather not.
SALOME
Lane?
LANE
This is hardly the place or time --
SALOME
Tell him!
LANE
(Not comfortable) The fluff flitted into the surgery of the handsome doctor complaining of a blockage. The doctor extended his arm some distance up the orifice in question where indeed he did encounter an impediment, which the doctor extracted, which, to his amazement, was one dozen long-stemmed red roses, to which the fluff said --
PRISONER
(With carefully constrained rage) "Read the card."
BILL
I don't get it! Was something written on the card?
PRISONER
(Referring to LANE) Have him explain it to you.
SALOME
I'll bet you'd love to get your hands on my coiffure.
PRISONER
No.
SALOME
Want to decorate my apartment?
PRISONER
No.
SALOME
Want to wear one of my dresses?
PRISONER
I doubt it'll fit.
SALOME
Lane, put some Bette Midler on the boom box. (Update accordingly.)
PRISONER
Enjoying yourself?
SALOME
You and I seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. You were innocently cruising... excuse me... walking along West Street --
PRISONER
I was at home.
SALOME
Whose home?
PRISONER
In bed.
SALOME
With whom?
PRISONER
Alone.
SALOME
You people live such lonely lives, don't you? No, forget I said that. I don't know what makes me say things like that. I'm not spiteful by nature. (To the audience) Really, I'm not. (To the PRISONER) You were at home, alone, in bed --
PRISONER
You got it.
SALOME
You lie! Herod would never take you in your own home.
PRISONER
He didn't even knock.
BILL
He should have kicked your door in!
PRISONER
He did!
BILL
Good for him!
PRISONER
I was beaten.
SALOME
With what?
BILL
A baseball bat?!
PRISONER
A golf club.
SALOME
Herod wouldn't hurt a fly.
PRISONER
He hurt me.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Did you bleed?
PRISONER
Yes.
SALOME
Badly?
PRISONER
Yes.
SALOME
I don't see any blood.
PRISONER
They cleaned me up.
LANE
They cleaned you up?
PRISONER
When they found out I was coming up here.
LANE
People only get hurt when they deserve it.
PRISONER
Is that so?
LANE
No one ever clubbed me.
PRISONER
Yet.
LANE
Are you threatening me?
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) No wonder you get hurt.
PRISONER
(To BILL) Bill, I don't know how you got mixed up in whatever is going on up here. I don't know how I got mixed up in it. I seem to be staying around for a while. You should get your ass out of here.
BILL
My ass ain't any of your business.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Why are you so hostile to me?
PRISONER
I'm not.
SALOME
You should be guilt-ridden. Your very existence is a denial of my femininity.
PRISONER
(To BILL) Look, Bill, I like you --
BILL
You what?!
SALOME
He "likes" you.
BILL
(To the PRISONER) Take that back! (Making a fist) I mean it, fruit!
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) William seems to be rejecting you.
BILL
(To the PRISONER) Come on, fight like a man.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Fight like a man, Bruce.
PRISONER
(To BILL) No.
BILL
You shouldn't say stuff like that, people will get the wrong idea.
PRISONER
Let them.
BILL
(To SALOME) Please, Miss Salome, I did nothing to lead him on.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) You're proud of what you are, aren't you?
PRISONER
Why not?
LANE
He's probably had his consciousness lifted.
PRISONER
(Correcting) "Raised"...
LANE
(To SALOME, referring to the PRISONER) He's probably above compromise.
SALOME
How selfish.
LANE
It's even likely he's dedicated to his own pleasure.
SALOME
Unnatural.
LANE
He fancies himself better than the rest of us.
SALOME
The rest of whom?
LANE
Those of us who prefer the cool, clean, dark air of the closet.
PRISONER
Mothballs and mushrooms.
LANE
I'd rather be standing here, safe and secure in my Gucci's, than stomping around in your boots on a collision with calamity.
SALOME
Closets? What has this to do with closets?
PRISONER
Everything.
LANE
Friend -- may I call you friend? Like it or not, maybe we do have a lot in common. We have even more that is not in common. You're committed; I've never found commitment pays my bill at Bloomingdale's. You're an activist; I go to the Opera. You're involved; I rely on opiates.
SALOME
Drugs?
PRISONER
Whatever turns you on.
LANE
Which is to say, whatever turns you off. Personally, I prefer Dewar's.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Stop and consider the harm you do. Sodom and Gomorrah burned to the ground thanks to you. You and your ilk pushed the Roman Empire over the brink. I've even been told that buggery is the cause of earthquakes.
PRISONER
Why not throw in gasoline prices?
SALOME
I am concerned for your soul. I offer myself to you as the receptacle of your repentance, the repository of your repudiation --
PRISONER
Fine. I repudiate, I repent, now put me back.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Repent what?
PRISONER
Whatever you say.
SALOME
Word of honor?
PRISONER
You allow me honor?
LANE
You should be guilt-ridden.
SALOME
And self-hating.
LANE
(Sweetly) And self-destructive.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) What kind of a life do you have?
PRISONER
A life.
SALOME
A life? Is that all?
PRISONER
It's the best place to begin.
SALOME
Without so much as a "pardon my dust"?
PRISONER
What kind of a life do you have?
SALOME
You think I didn't notice your hair.
PRISONER
What about it?
SALOME
It's long.
PRISONER
(Laughing) It is not.
SALOME
It isn't a crew cut.
PRISONER
It's my hair.
SALOME
You're free to wear your hair that way.
PRISONER
How liberal of you.
SALOME
I'm free to find it repugnant.
BILL
Me too.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Don't get me wrong, I like you.
BILL
You what?!
LANE
She likes him.
BILL
But... !
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) I said I like you.
PRISONER
(To BILL) Put me back in the summerhouse.
SALOME
Lane says you're a prophet.
LANE
Slip of the tongue.
BILL
(To SALOME) You don't like him, you like me!
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Give me a prophesy.
PRISONER
(To BILL) You took me out, put me back.
SALOME
I can see you now, standing in some dark bar somewhere on the waterfront, absolutely convinced you know who you are. Well you don't know who you are. Not until I decide to tell you who you are. I define you. And you're not special at all. Or you won't be, not when I cut your hair --
LANE
(Blocking her) Wrong play, Miss Salome.
SALOME
(To BILL) William... Bill... in the drawing room... my sewing kit... the scissors...
LANE
(Restraining SALOME). No!
SALOME
(Struggling to free herself, to BILL) ...there on the table... the butter knife... give me that knife!... (To LANE) ...unhand me!
BILL takes a butter knife from the garden table.
LANE
(Shaking SALOME) Cool it, Delilah!
SALOME
(Dazed) I... I..?
LANE
Remember who you are!
SALOME
But...
LANE
Where you are!
SALOME
(Looking around her) Where... who... ?
LANE
You've got the wrong climax going for you.
SALOME
Where are we?
LANE
Not among the Philistines.
LADY H and HEROD enter laughing through the French doors USC.
HEROD
Salome, my dear child --
LADY H
-- It's all been settled!
HEROD
The contract has been signed --
LADY H
(To SALOME) -- You get everything!
SALOME
It has not been settled. Mamma, Herod, go back inside and wait.
HEROD
But --
LADY H
(To the PRISONER) Oh... Hello, there... we meet again.
SALOME
(To HEROD and LADY H) I'm not kidding. Go back offstage and wait.
LADY H and HEROD exit confused through the French doors USC.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Now, sir, come to me.
BILL
No!
SALOME
Yes.
PRISONER
Why?
SALOME
I am your lover.
BILL
No, Miss Salome, me!
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Look at me!
BILL
Don't fight it, it's you and me.
SALOME
You're the footman.
BILL
I'll go to business school.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) Sir, as I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted --
BILL
Without you, I'll... I'll...
SALOME
What? Without me you'll what?
BILL
Die.
SALOME
(Laughing) Silly boy.
LANE
William, don't be a fool!
BILL
I will!
SALOME
Prove it.
BILL
Die?
LANE
I think not.
SALOME
He offered.
PRISONER
(To BILL) Don't let her manipulate you.
SALOME
It seems his offer was not in good faith.
BILL
(Butter knife in hand) I will.
PRISONER
(To LANE) Hadn't you better disarm him?
LANE
Interfere?
BILL
When it's too late, when I'm lying dead on the floor, then you'll appreciate me.
SALOME
Maybe. Maybe not. (To the PRISONER, unbuttoning her bodice) In years to come, when you talk of this, and you will, be kind.
PRISONER
Bill, give me that knife.
BILL
(To SALOME) Look at me!
LANE
(Nervous) William, you'd best leave the theatrics to your elders.
BILL
Look!
To his own surprise, BILL stabs himself.
LANE
William!
SALOME
Now what have you done?!
BILL
Stabbed myself.
LANE
(Scandalized) In the garden?
SALOME
For me?
BILL
For... for... (He collapses.)
LANE
(Catching BILL, cradling him) William?
PRISONER
Quick, open his shirt!
SALOME
Are you a doctor?
PRISONER
No, but --
SALOME
Then stay out of this --
BILL
(Weakly) I... You...
SALOME
I what?
BILL
You didn't mean it. (BILL dies.)
PRISONER
(To LANE) Let me help you.
LANE
(Bitterly) Haven't you done enough?
PRISONER
You set the stage.
SALOME
(To LANE) Is he?
LANE
Yes.
GLADYS enters DSL with a broom and dust pan.
PRISONER
(The game is over) Dead?
GLADYS
(As she enters) You rang?
SALOME
I dropped one of my props.
LANE
And it broke.
SALOME
(Advancing on the PRISONER) You, Mr. No-name, you should know the poem even better than I... (She quotes) ..."But I am love --"
PRISONER
(Backing away from SALOME in disgust) Love? (He starts back toward the summerhouse.)
SALOME
(Quoting) "-- and I was wont to be alone in this fair garden." Say it with me! "I am true love I fill the hearts of boys and girls with mutual flame."
In her advance on the PRISONER, MISS SALOME daintily steps over the body of BILL.
GLADYS
(To SALOME) Your skirt's trailing in the blood.
SALOME
(To the PRISONER) You're so proud of it, say it with me. "-- then sighing, said the other." You know the words.
PRISONER
(Starting up the aisle) "-- then sighing, said the other, 'have thy will, I am the love that dare not speak its name.'"
The PRISONER has gone back to the summerhouse.
SALOME
My hand, sir, take it. Look into my eyes. There is a planetarium in my eyes. I've most of the big dipper in my left eye; in my right eye, you have a good go at the morning star. Keep out of that summerhouse! You locked the door, didn't you? I heard the click. Do you want me to come back there and break that door down? You like that, don't you -- breaking down doors. Come out. Come out come out come out. We'll have a party to welcome you. Waltzing does a lot for the soul. One, two, three; come, two, three; out, two, three. La... sir... La, if you think you have the right to refuse propriety. I dish out the rights around here. I shan't be the poor loser in a contest won by a summerhouse. Not I, sir. (To LANE) Lane, tell an amusing story.
Next Page:
Act , Crime and Punishment (page 14 of 14 pages)
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Table of Contents: Now She Dances!
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