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Issue 1 • Spring 2002 • Poetry
to be a cocktail waitress, you must
Lauren Wheeler
smile a lot
and pretend not to mind
when a man twice your age
or maybe
three times
asks you when you're
getting off because he wants
to take you home with him
so that he can
get off
just keep smiling
and tell him you're married
to a cop
and that she's real mean
and don't expect him
to leave you much
of a tip
Globetrotter Lauren Wheeler was born in Chicago, raised in Miami Beach, did a stint in Ithaca, New York while getting her BA in English Lit from Cornell University, hung out in Berkeley for a little while for the sake of her sanity, lost it all over again in Los Angeles, and is presently living in Oakland. She represented the Mission District at the 1998 National Poetry Slam and Ithaca in 1999. Lauren was also the host of the Tongue & Groove and Re-verse poetry series in Ithaca. She has featured on both coasts and performed the Bay Area dates of 2001's Ignition Tour with Daphne Gottlieb. Lauren may be reached at laurenwheeler@aol.com.
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