my mother asked you about your trip to Germany
while I sucked you off    my bedroom door half-open

I got lost on the way back to your house
too many similar trees

I left you at the airport because I forgot you were
coming    I was in bed with someone new

you had no underarm hair and your sweat
tasted like ivy    you were pale   I touched
each of your ribs with my palms
crawling upward

you tried to shave my legs in the shower
and ended up cutting yourself

You made me come in the middle of a field
I shrieked when the fireflies flew into my hair
you said shut up

I fucked your best friend when you were busy
and it hurt I couldn't get wet for him I didn't
care so much for him

we fucked on the top floor of the library    I wiped myself
with notebook paper I think the janitor knew
the socks strewn about and the smell in that corner

sometimes you begged me to stop
sometimes I begged you

you locked me outside naked on the roof it was a short
time and I didn't mind so much

I whispered to you about my cunt so your
roommate wouldn't hear

you told me I was a hysterical female
I dreamt about making you bleed

I couldn't sleep alone in my bed so I slept on your couch
when you didn't want me there the scent of your shoes

I asked you to tie me up again with your
belt to the desk and you sighed so I hit you

you said you wished I'd disappear
I said I wished you'd leave your fingers in me
longer

I liked to do things to you in the dark while
you slept and in the morning you wondered
why I    was there

your breath was like rotten eggs but
I kissed you

I promised to fuck you every weekend and him
only during the week

your eyes lifted open and you turned to me
with that angel smile of children and the newly
woken and pulled me to you held me
your arms
like little fathers