Someone called me a lucky stiff. It's true. I'm less flexible
than I used to be. It's my way or the highway, the country

singer crooned. Stiff isn't the same as rigid, thoughts, spines,
as in pour me a stiff one, it's been a long day. After a few

you're loosey goosey, like the baby that fell off a balcony
in the Truffaut film, bounced and survived, as flexible as

Gumby, as Hubert Humphrey, as a salesman trying to make
a deal. Would you buy a used car from the current prez,

who flip flops as if he invented rubber thongs? Now Nixon
was stiff as a bored believer, thought a cloth coat more flexible

than leather. He had it down; Pat, he cried, when it was time
to give up the throne. There in the corner was David Eisenhower,

smiling that goofy grin, inflexible, incalcitrant. What did Mamie
think? What's the diff if the party line stays stiff? We better

learn to flex our might and then our arms so they'll be able
to see our point of view, but if they stay miffed it's going to be
a long four years.