Issue 6 • Summer 2003 • Featured Writer • Drama
Troy HillAct II, Scene 10
Scene 10.
The art show -- a live-in installation in Janice and Todd's loft space. Jon enters wearing all green. Janice and Todd are in red.
JANICE
Well greetings.
JON
Greetings.
TODD
Hey.
JON
Hi.
They hug stiffly.
JANICE
Thanks for coming.
JON
Of course. I wore green.
JANICE
Yes you did.
TODD
You didn't have to.
JANICE
Of course he did.
JANICE
Well, feel free to roam around the space and experience.
JON
Where's the show?
TODD
It's...
JANICE
You are the show.
JON
What?
JANICE
We are the show. The space. All of it.
TODD
I do have some pieces hanging in the...
JANICE
We're all part of the piece -- especially Todd and I.
JON
So, what, we just walk around?
JANICE
And experience.
JON
Oh, kind of like a haunted house.
TODD
Exactly! That was kind of where I wanted to go.
JANICE
But we didn't.
TODD
But that's sort of the form, though. Just no goblins.
JANICE
Well, you never know.
Janice walks off.
JON
So, what have you been up to?
TODD
Oh, you know. Getting ready for the show.
JON
(Looking around) It's good. It's...interesting. I've never -- I'm not sure which parts are the artwork.
TODD
Everything, the -- everything -- the whole space and everything in it. Even the people -- you're part of it right now.
JON
Is that why we were supposed to wear lime green?
TODD
Yeah, it represents life and artificiality. But really it's just for the color scheme and...whatever.
JON
And what about the king and queen in red?
TODD
Well, death and reality. Together they -- never mind -- just look around. Have some wine.
JON
So how's work?
TODD
I thought we were just talking about it.
JON
No, the freelance -- the ad business.
TODD
I've been focusing on this. Janice got some grants, so we were able to focus.
JON
Oh, that's right. Do you think anything will come of it?
TODD
Of what?
JON
The show.
TODD
Um, well, I invited some gallery people and some dealers and press.
JON
Did you ask Steven's gallery to come? I told you that you should use that connection.
TODD
That guy is dealing in Europe now or something. I'm not sure. I don't think he has the gallery anymore. I don't even like him.
JON
I hear Steven's doing well. He's got his own show and he did the design for some big rock group's album cover.
TODD
Right, well, that's great. Good for him. And the Ramones.
JON
I don't think that's who it was.
TODD
Yeah, I was joking. Anyway, no one I invited -- industry people -- came tonight -- yet, but the show is up for a month. Hopefully we'll get some press. I don't think Janice cares if anyone sees it besides the two of us and the grant people.
JON
She's an odd one.
TODD
She's an artist.
JON
Uh huh. Maybe the industry people didn't have any lime green. We had a hard time coming up with it.
TODD
Right, well, I guess the answer for you would be no, nothing will come of it.
JON
I'm not suggesting, I didn't mean anything.
TODD
No of course not. You never do. Who's we anyway? I thought you were here alone.
JON
No the others are coming soon. I guess they got held up with the green thing. Now I hope you don't take all this the wrong way, but --
TODD
Take all what what way?
JON
I wanted to talk to you about all this before and I know they did...
TODD
They?
JON
But...
Audrey and Al walk in wearing their new Salvation Army lime green outfits.
TODD
Oh my God! Hey! I can't believe you guys came up for the show. Where have you been? Mom's been freaking out? Oh my God.
AUDREY
Hey Todd. Good to see you.
AL
How's it going?
TODD
Great.
Jon goes over and kisses them on the cheeks.
AUDREY
Hey Jon. You won't believe what we went through to get these outfits. And then we got a little mixed up on the train.
AL
Hey.
JON
Hey.
TODD
They look great. What's going on? You guys know each other? This is weird.
AUDREY
Todd. Um, maybe we should talk about this some other time. Let's just enjoy the show. Where is it?
TODD
Wait, no, what's going on?
AUDREY
Todd, seriously, this is your night. We just want to enjoy the show.
AL
I think Audrey's right.
JON
I wanted to talk to you before...
TODD
What is going on? You have to explain. This is too weird.
AUDREY
Oh Gosh. Todd, we didn't come up for the show.
TODD
What do you mean? You're here.
AUDREY
Al and I didn't come up for the show. We've been here for a few weeks.
TODD
A few weeks? In New York? What have you been doing?
AUDREY
Well, that's just it. I meant to contact you the first day. Things have just been so crazy. And then tonight ... we just really wanted to be here. We haven't been to one of your shows in so long.
TODD
A few weeks?
AUDREY
Can't we just see the show and -- we can have coffee tomorrow and talk about everything that's been going on.
TODD
No. No. You show up here. You all act like old friends. You've never even met. You show up here like you're best buddies with my ex.
AUDREY
We didn't want to tell you right before your show and all. I didn't want to distract you. There's been a lot going on -- personally. I mean we're still figuring it out for ourselves. This is happening all wrong. I'm so sorry Todd. This is your night.
Janice walks back over.
JANICE
Audrey, Al. You guys came to the show. How wonderful. Welcome. Long way from Cincinnati.
TODD
Oh, they've been in New York for weeks.
JANICE
Really?
JON
This wasn't such a good idea.
TODD
What the fuck asshole? What the fuck? Okay. You show up here insulting me and my work and my partner...
JON
I did nothing of the kind.
TODD
In that nice-guy, therapist-bullshit way...
JON
Now wait a minute.
TODD
And you pull some fucked up game to fuck with my head.
JANICE
Calm down Todd.
JON
Todd. I am not intentionally...
TODD
Oh no, you would never do anything intentionally hurtful. You fucking prick.
JANICE
Not here Todd. Not at the show.
JON
Todd, I'm sorry. We can talk about this some other time. I apologize.
TODD
(Overlapping) No. Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit. What's going on that you just somehow slipped up and forgot to tell me? Tell me what the fuck is going on!
JANICE
Stop!
JON
Okay, Todd. Since you really want to know...
AUDREY
No!
JON
Audrey's a lesbian, she's my new best friend, and she and Al and I have been staying together.
TODD
Staying together?
Sarah and Jack walk in.
SARAH
Oh my Lord. There they are. Surprise, surprise. Here we are. What are y'all doing here? Where have y'all been?
JANICE
Why is everyone gay?
SARAH
Pardon?
JANICE
Everyone is not fucking gay.
SARAH
Well I should hope not, dear.
JACK
(Shaking Al's hand) Al, good to see ya'. Hey sweetheart. (Goes to Audrey and gives her a kiss)
TODD
(Vacant) You guys came to the show?
SARAH
Audrey, what is going on here?
AUDREY
Oh my gosh. Why are you guys here?
SARAH
Why are you here is the question dear. We've searching for you everywhere. The expense you've put us through. Do you know how much it costs to employ a private detective?
JACK
Well, now we know she's safe.
TODD
A private detective knew about my show?
JACK
This guy is good.
AUDREY
But why would you do all that? We told you we were fine.
SARAH
Well what were we to think?
JON
Can I get anyone a cup of wine?
JACK
Sure.
SARAH
I'm exhausted. Could you get me a coffee dear?
TODD
Wine for me.
Jonathan goes to get beverages.
JACK
Todd, offer your mother a chair.
TODD
We don't have any.
JANICE
I'll get some pillows.
Janice goes.
SARAH
You've got some explaining to do young lady.
AUDREY
I will mom. Is this really the time?
JACK
Audrey, your mother got accepted onto the board of the Hyde Park Neighborhood Council. You should be real proud.
AL
Hey, that's great Sarah. Maybe we should talk about all this other stuff later. Why don't we just enjoy the show?
SARAH
We will do no such thing. Now what was all that hubbub when we came in? Why was Janice -- saying what she was saying?
TODD
Oh that was just something Jonathan was saying -- you know my ex-boyfriend.
SARAH
I knew that wouldn't last.
AUDREY
(Overlapping) Todd please.
TODD
Yes, he was just announcing that Audrey is a lesbian now and that he and Al and Audrey are big buddies. They've apparently all been staying together. That's where they've been.
AUDREY
(Overlapping) Todd!
JACK
Now why would you want to do that honey?
Jonathan walks back in with drinks.
SARAH
Has the whole world turned... queer? Is this a sign of the end of the world? Are y'all determined to punish your mother?
JON
What did you do Todd?
TODD
Oh, I just shared with them what you shared with me earlier.
Janice brings in the pillows and Jonathan passes out drinks. Jonathan attempts to interject throughout the rest of the scene.
SARAH
Janice, dear, I see what you mean about everyone...being a gay.
TODD
Everyone's not gay. Just us. I hope that's decaf.
AUDREY
I don't even --
JON
Now, the thing is Mrs. Johnson...
SARAH
What did I do wrong? Why is God punishing me?
AUDREY
He's not.
TODD
It's not about you, Mom.
AL
Where are y'all staying?
JACK
The Four Seasons. Real nice.
JON
Mr. And Mrs. Johnson...
AUDREY
Mom, Dad, this is Jonathan. Al and I have been staying with him. He's been helping us.
SARAH
Nice to meet you. Helping you with what?
JON
Well...
AUDREY
Al and I are going through a lot right now. We're not even sure how to explain.
SARAH
Try.
AUDREY
Well, I guess a big part of it is that we both have sexuality issues.
TODD
Al too? Oh my God.
AL
Now wait a minute.
TODD
I didn't know that.
AUDREY
We don't even know -- we don't know for sure what we're going to do.
JON
Audrey and Al...
SARAH
(Overlapping) Well, I do. You're coming back to Cincinnati with your father and myself.
AUDREY
I don't know Mom.
SARAH
I do.
JACK
All our friends miss you guys. Al, we need to play tennis.
AL
I know it, but things are... I'll be back soon to check on the store at any rate. We can play then.
JACK
Great.
TODD
Um, is this the time to discuss tennis?
AL
No, Todd, it's not. I guess for better or worse it's time to try to explain things, although we're not too sure ourselves.
JON
Yes...
JACK
This whole queer thing is contagious. I knew it. Al, forget about all this. Just quit while you're ahead. I mean it. Look at Todd. You don't want to end up like that. Now come on.
AL
I'm not saying I'm queer Jack. I don't know what. I'm not sure...
JACK
Well, to hell with it.
AUDREY
Dad, please listen.
JACK
Just because Al may not be the man for you, sweetie, doesn't mean you're not... that doesn't mean you're not a girl.
AUDREY
I'm a woman Dad. I know that... and that's...
SARAH
The pain I feel for my children.
TODD
Please, just listen to Audrey and Al.
JON
Todd's right. Please try to listen even though it may be difficult right now.
SARAH
The pain I feel. The guilt I feel for having smothered you, Todd. And now your sister. After all the illness. Sometimes I think it'd be better if I just hadn't had either one of you.
TODD
Well fuck you.
JACK
Watch your mouth.
AUDREY
Dad.
JACK
Come on Audrey, let's go. If Al's not man enough to take you home, I am. I've got nothing to discuss. This whole thing is a joke. I knew we shouldn't have come to New York. Now come on.
AL
Hey --
JON
Mr. Johnson, I'm sure if....
AUDREY
Dad, no! I am not coming with you. I'm staying right here for now. I'm not yours. I'm a grown woman. I'm not coming with you.
SARAH
(To Todd) I just wish I could make you three again. Make you little bitty and keep you in my pocket.
TODD
Well, that wouldn't be much of a life for me, would it?
JACK
I think this meeting is adjourned.
JON
Now if everyone would just...
AL
I think so too.
SARAH
My babies.
JACK
Let's go Sarah. Pointless.
SARAH
Well, goodbye for now.
JON
Please take my phone number down.
AUDREY
I'll call you guys later.
SARAH
Al...
JACK
We're at the Four Seasons. Call us there, Audrey.
SARAH
Do ya'll have my mobile phone number?
TODD
Yes.
JON
Nice to meet you.
JACK
Come on Sarah.
SARAH
My babies.
JACK
Let's go.
Jack escorts Sarah out.
TODD
Holy fucking shit.
AL
Yeah.
Next Page:
Act II, Scene 11 (page 21 of 22 pages)
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